What Do Teens Need To Know About Apologising?

Teens can be very vicious with their words when they want to be. Often they will say things or do things in order to hurt someone or make a spectacle of them. While it may seem fun at the time, as we grow up we understand that it is not a good thing and that is not how you should treat other people. Getting a teen to apologise and understand their mistakes can be a difficult thing because they are stubborn and most of all they do not believe that anything more than a ‘I’m sorry you feel this way’ is necessary. But apologizing is one of the most important things you must do as you grow up. Here are some things teens should know about apologies.

Timing matters when you are apologising

While you may think all you have to do is say sorry, that is not all that matters. While it's important to apologise promptly, it's equally important to do so when you're calm and collected. Rushing an apology can make it less sincere and not thought out.

Own your mistakes when you are apologising

Avoid making excuses or blaming others. It is very important to take responsibility for your actions and acknowledge the harm you've caused. You cannot try to blame others and tell them in the same breath that you are sorry as it seems that you don’t believe your own faults.

Be specific when you are apologising

A vague apology isn't effective. Clearly state what you're sorry for, using specific language. For instance, instead of "I'm sorry for being mean," say "I'm sorry for calling you names." Taking accountability when you are apologising shows you understand what you did wrong.

Express empathy

Show that you understand how your actions affected the other person. Use phrases like, "I can see how hurtful that must have been." When somebody that you hurt or wronged expresses their feeling show them that you are listening and understanding them.

Avoid getting defensive

Don't try to justify your behaviour or minimize the impact of your actions. When you do something wrong, no matter how bad you think it is or how it was a joke, you must apologise if your actions hurt someone, regardless of your intention.

Offer to make amends

If possible, offer to make things right. This could involve apologizing in person, writing a heartfelt letter, or doing something to help the other person. When you make amends you must do something that the other person says will help them feel better, even if it is them needing space.

Be patient with them

It may take time for the other person to forgive you. Be patient and understanding, and avoid pressuring them to forgive you immediately. After you apologised it is up to them if they chose to forgive you or not.

Learn from your mistakes

Reflect on what went wrong and how you can avoid making similar mistakes in the future. The most important thing is you understand what you did wrong and not do it again in the future.