Are You Overly Involved In Your Grown Teen’s Life?

Your 18-year-old is preparing to leave for college. While you're excited for them, a part of you feels anxious and uncertain. You find yourself constantly checking in, offering unsolicited advice, and micromanaging their every move. If this sounds familiar, you might be overinvolved in your teen's life. There are many such instances that even your teens can tell you where they felt they had no privacy, or they had to go out of their way to hide things from you because they felt you were too involved in their lives

It's natural to want to protect your children, but excessive involvement can hinder their growth and independence. They may feel stifled and almost choked by your constant looming presence. Here are some common signs of overinvolvement and how to strike a healthy balance. Remember, the goal is to strike a balance between support and independence. By encouraging your teen to develop their own skills and make their own choices, you can help them become confident and self-reliant individuals.

Constant Check-ins

Frequent calls, texts, or tracking devices can create a sense of distrust and stifle your teen's autonomy. It's important to balance your desire for safety with their need for privacy and independence.

Problem-Solving on Their Behalf

While it's tempting to shield your teen from challenges, it's crucial to allow them to learn from their mistakes and develop problem-solving skills. Encourage them to find solutions on their own, offering guidance and support when needed.

Overinvolvement in Social Life

Micromanaging your teen's friendships or love life can damage their relationships. Instead, trust them to make their own choices and offer advice when asked. Some parents even go as far as talking to their teen’s friends themselves if they are facing any issues.

Excessive Financial Support

While it's important to support your teen financially, it's also crucial to teach them the value of money and the importance of financial responsibility. Consider providing a reasonable allowance or helping them find part-time jobs.

You exhibit controlling behaviour

Imposing strict rules and regulations can stifle your teen's individuality and creativity. Encourage them to express themselves and make their own choices, within reason. Teens often share their frustration when their parents become unreasonable and unwilling to listen to them just because they do not want to

You lack trust

Constantly questioning your teen's motives or accusing them of dishonesty can damage your relationship. Build trust by communicating openly and honestly and avoiding making assumptions. Trust is a very important thing as it shows your teen how much you know them and believe in them to do the right thing.

You are emotionally dependent

It's important to maintain healthy boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. While it's natural to want to support your teen emotionally, avoid becoming their sole source of comfort. It is not healthy for a parent to depend emotionally on their teens as it burdens them.

You hesitate to let go

As your teen grows older, it's essential to let go and allow them to become independent. This can be a challenging process, but it's important to trust that they are capable of making their own decisions.