In an era where discussions around mental health and suicide prevention have become increasingly crucial, Not Today, directed by Aditya Kripalani, stands out as a poignant film exploring these vital issues. After struggling for five years, the film finally saw the light on YouTube. Over the years, the film garnered significant acclaim, including Best Film at the Asian Competition and the Fipresci International Critics Award.
Aditya’s approach to creating Not Today involved extensive research and a deep dive into the realities faced by suicide prevention counsellors. Drawing inspiration from organisations like Samaritans, he uncovered the stark reality that these centres often operate with minimal resources. Rather than having separate cubicles, counsellors work around a table, whispering to avoid disturbing others, all while saving lives in an environment of financial constraint. Keep reading the full interview below:
Excerpts from the Interview
How are you feeling now that Not Today has been released?
I’m feeling really good. The release is also psychological. You’re holding onto a certain feeling for a very long period, and when that’s finally put out into the world, it definitely makes you feel lighter. For about five or six years before the release, I was not sleeping well and was anxious throughout the day. But now, with the reactions being really positive, it has certainly made things better. That happens very rarely in your life.
How did you come up with this idea? The film explored the sensitive topic of suicide prevention. So what specific experience or observation inspired you to tackle this subject in such a profound way?
Both Shweta and I have lost people to suicide. I wouldn't get into details because most people don't like those names going out. So that has been on my mind to write about it at some point. I myself have been through depression. When we started exploring it, we realised that there are suicide prevention counsellors who deal with this every day. I was very intrigued to know what their life must be like. Very few of us have a job in which, if we fail, somebody is going to die. It's very rare; only doctors probably go through that, but they’re not talking to the patient while performing surgery. Here, you’re literally on a call with someone, and if you don’t succeed in the next moment, that person may not exist. So it’s a very different, very unique experience that a suicide prevention counselor goes through every day. It was interesting to find out what happens in their life, which made me want to start writing something about a suicide prevention counsellor. If you’ve seen the film, within 20 minutes, you learn that the man on the other side has also been a suicide prevention counsellor for 15 years. That makes it a very different film from what we show in the trailer.
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How long did it take to make the film and get it to the audience?
The actual making of the film took less than a year, but bringing it to the audience took about five years. Despite completing the film four and a half years ago, we faced numerous rejections from platforms. Even after getting the highest critics' awards in the world, called the Fipresci, no platform bought it. The market changed after COVID-19, and only films with stars started to sell online. Eventually, at some point, my partner and I thought, "Okay, let’s accept that loss, the entire loss of the film, but let’s give whatever we get as a donation. Let’s put it up on YouTube since there was a cause that we wanted to support." That’s why we made the film initially. We’re hoping that the next film we’ve made will cover this loss.
We’ve made another film with Nawazuddin Siddiqui called Main Actor Nahi Hoon. It should be out later this year. We hope that when we sell that film, it will cover this loss. Of course, it’s a hope. You just never know all these things.
How did you ensure the film balanced emotional authenticity with respect for those struggling with similar issues?
I didn’t do it consciously, to be very honest, because I don’t know how consciously one can do something like that. We went by research and understood there are certain rules and regulations regarding how much to engage and how much not to. At some point, I realised that this story has to go beyond that. Like Silence of the Lambs, which is one of my favourite films, I realised that all films start with a backdrop and then become human stories. When you get to know it, it also becomes about a man who’s lost a daughter and a daughter who’s lost a parent. It becomes much more than just a suicide prevention story. From that point onwards, the rules just don’t matter. It becomes personal. It’s not guided by the stakes and becomes like life and death. Even in her mind, I think that also really excited me as a writer when I was writing this script—that the stakes became so high. She just doesn’t care anymore about her own safety. Also, in the building in the middle of the night, he calls the watchman, and he knows the watchman, but it’s still a risky thing to do.
How did the collaboration with Rucha Inamdar and Harsh Chhaya shape the final portrayal of the film?
One thing I feel that we were able to really help the actors with was creating fertile soil for acting. We shot it live. First, we shot it chronologically, so they were getting into the characters as the characters were developing. We shot it live; the centre and the film standing on the terrace were in the same building. The social protection centre was on the ground floor, and he was on the 16th floor. For the first 27 minutes of the film, we shot live like that. Two cameras upstairs and three cameras downstairs with Rucha. When she leaves and goes out, it is still live. For 25 days, we shot live. Wherever she was, there were two cameras downstairs and three cameras with her. It wasn’t like we shot her separately.
He was sitting on the terrace for 25 days, and she was walking around Bombay. That was also a big factor that helped, I think, the performances, because then I could always direct one actor via the other. I called Rucha and said, "I say this" or "Do this." And he didn’t know it was coming. So he just reacted to it like in real life. It seemed natural and not rehearsed. The same for her.
I would call him and tell him, "Okay, say this." And she didn’t know what was coming. She would react naturally, which made every take feel real. In every take, I would say something different to both. The script was there; 50% of it was the same, but there was always some change, which changed the whole flavour. I think that probably helped the performance. Of course, fantastic actors on their own.
Harsh just landed on the set in that look. If you see his photo now and you see him, that’s how he looks. Even when I met him—short hair, clean-shaven, very different, with those horn-rimmed glasses. When he came on the set, I almost didn’t recognize him. That was his choice.
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What role do you believe cinema plays in addressing mental health issues, and how does Not Today contribute to this conversation?
Interestingly, if you see the comments on YouTube, you can already see its effect. People are saying, "I didn’t know such a place existed, and I’m so glad to know." One person has actually written under the YouTube video, "I owe you a life from today." What that person was feeling up to that point, I don’t know. But I also wrote under that, "Please seek professional help if you ever need to." I feel that it’s just what it does—when you read about it, you process it intellectually. But when you’re explaining something through the diaries of emotions or reaching someone’s heart, emotional processing is very different. Only a fiction film can do that. When I tell you facts and statistics, you get shocked and process it mentally.
It’s like when you have a fight with a partner or a parent or a child. It can only actually be solved emotionally. It’s not like you sit and analyze the root cause and put it on paper. Solving is done through emotions.
From that perspective, I feel that these films can create that emotion. It’s like why we watch Dil Chahta Hai every time we have a fight with a friend. It helps you find some kind of vicarious release and inspiration to go back and try again at their friendship. Or people watch Marriage Story during a breakup and so forth. Many films do that. I definitely find that, in that sense, we need more films on suicide prevention.
If you call someone and say that you are going to talk to a human, it is a normal conversation. You don’t have to get scared.
Following this, what do you think of today’s cinema?
I think the percentage of depth and shallowness is the same as 25 years ago. No change. Because as human beings, it’s the same. Avengers can be as deep or shallow. Worldwide, the percentage of good films and bad films is the same. No change since I’ve started watching films in school. It’s the same. I don’t think there’s any big change with OTT. Those people are the same. 50% want only entertainment. At least they consciously think that.
Why did you choose to release Not Today on YouTube instead of other platforms?
We didn’t sell it. We tried everyone, every platform over five years and multiple times. We thought, now it’s been two years, let’s try again. Rejection. So we finally thought, let’s put it out ourselves. YouTube has become much more democratic. No one needs to pay anything for it. Even the rich are like, "What’s the film when he doesn’t want to pay?" Let’s say someone doesn’t want to buy a Netflix subscription, they can still see the film. And that is nice. So during that process, when nobody was buying the film and nobody was releasing it on the OTT platform.
What do you think is the future of indie films, especially in the current market?
The future of indie films is to make the same indie film with a star. That’s my understanding. That’s how we’ve done the next film with Nawazuddin—find a star that sees the world the way you do and make it the same way without a studio, without too much money, but just get a star on board. It’s like a collaborator who adds power to the project. Don’t compromise. That’s all I feel. You need to have one star on board to make the film that way. Otherwise, everything else remains the same.
What were some of the major challenges you faced during the making of Not Today?
The worst thing was not being able to sell it. I think that was the hardest thing to overcome. So five years to come to this point where you’re ready to put it out for free, coming to this point took four and a half years of a lot of pain. But now I don’t feel any sadness about it. I’m extremely happy the film is being received quite well. Anurag Kashyap was also very generous by releasing the trailer. I think without him, we would not have been able to do it. Honestly, it wouldn’t have been the same. Many celebrities have written reviews about the film.